umm maybe i’m lost in translation…

God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever according to scripture, yet some how i’m not sure that i have fully embraced and let this knowledge permeate my mind, heart, and being. Sometimes, perhaps even often, i begin to buy into culture norms and expectations and accept them as the standard by which i live my life.  Matthew chapter 10 debunks any of the lies i have chosen to accept as a follower of Christ. It calls me into the harsh reality of what it actually takes and cost to follow Christ. It is not something that can be entered into lightly, but that’s exactly what we do, we invite people to enter into relationship with Christ lightly.  Another reason of why Jesus is my hero is evident in Matthew 10, He disciples and it wasn’t something He did haphazardly.  He was clearly intentional and brutally honest about what a relationship with God required.  He didn’t try to sugar coat the idea of what it cost, but rather made it clear, that if i can’t pick up my cross and daily follow in spite of all the things against me, well i’m not worthy.  Some how i feel like a lot of these hard things have been lost in translation, like i hear it but maybe i think, God has a different plan for my following of Him.  Like He doesn’t want it to be that hard for me, like He didn’t really send His son to be a sword and cause division, and like i don’t have to choose between the stuff i enjoy here on earth and Him.  Like somehow i got it good compared to back then with the disciples and stuff.  Then i read and reread and reread and reread Matthew 10 for like 3 months regularly and i know i am not exempt, it’s just that i have a hard time really swallowing what Jesus says sometimes.  It’s not that anything is any different from when Jesus walked on earth, it’s just that i want to tell myself that it is, so i can lose meaning in translation, just so i don’t have to feel the pangs of what it actually cost to follow His call.  i can only really feel what this chapter means to me and what i feel has changed me beyond what i ever thought.  It has been a call to challenge all i have held in idea and relationship with God and i realize He is the same always no matter what and i can’t do anything to change that, but i can embrace the reality of what answering His call cost and go freely there with Him inside me giving me a strength to face the brokenness in earthly relationships and the hardships that will come as a result of being all in and picking up my cross daily to follow Him where ever He leads or sends or calls or beckons while i’m here, but this world is not my home and i will not let culture define who i will be in Him, i choose the cross, i choose Christ, i choose a Dad who doesn’t change.

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