Finding Life In Not Saying a Word

i’m not very good with commitment.  It actually kind of paralyzes me if i think about it too much.  i’m not sure why, but i’ve been that way for as long as i can remember.  i’m not wishy washy, i just have a hard time with anything that is too long term.  i like change.  That being said, the one thing i have not an ounce of trepidation committing to is chasing the heart of God.  One of the ways i have committed to do that is to continually read through the Gospels.  i start at Matthew and read through John and then start back at Matthew and do it all over again and again.  i am learning much about what it is to be a follower of Christ.  Recently i read Matthew 27 and afterwards as i drove to work, the magnitude of Christ struck me like semi truck. i am often in awe of how Jesus loved His Father and thus showed Their love for me on the cross–how He was deeply obedient, but something struck me differently this time as I pondered Jesus and his great act of redemption for humanity.  Before Pilate he held his tongue.  He could’ve lashed out at his accusers, he could’ve made a case for himself before Pilate, but instead he amazed Pilate by not saying a word.  He didn’t take that opportunity to try and validate himself, but he listened and then he didn’t say a word.  How much better off would my life be if i followed Jesus that way?  i don’t have to always be right, i don’t always have to be heard, i don’t always have to make my point, i don’t always have to defend my actions, i don’t have to validate my choices–maybe being quiet and not saying a word when things are being said that aren’t true or i don’t agree with, will amaze.  So i’m committed to that end, in a world that is so noisy with movements claiming to be the “right one” i choose to be quiet and trust in my Father and follow that unto obedience.

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