i’m slow…

Fear creeps in, it seems and feels inevitable.  
i breathe deep wondering what comes next. 

These days i find my heart heavy and contemplative.  Often i wrestle with the thought, Wyoming…what sense does it make?  This week i struggled with that a lot internally.  i don’t really talk about it out loud, but the internal dialogue is constant.  i was giving myself all the reasons why i shouldn’t do it and for every reason i gave there was a still small voice that answered and quieted all those fears.  For every rational and logical reason not to go, there appeared a feeling of peace that seemed to be pointing me forward…to find my way…to conquer the fear that is a constant beating in my heart.  i like change, but frequently the unknown leaves me quivering with trepidation; thus leaving the movement forward to change a breath in my mind.  So in the midst of this journey westward i find it’s about so much more than what i perceived when it began.  For someone who doesn’t fear change, but fears the unknown, i find myself listening to to the still small voice saying you are not a captive to the unknown.  i am learning to know and believe that Jesus is in the things i know and He is also in the things unknown to me and so i can walk there, because He is leading.  He has already walked before me.  Maybe God isn’t saying move to anywhere specifically, maybe He’s saying embrace Me in the unknown…i’m getting there, i’m slow, but i’m getting there.  

The thing i know is when i get there He will be there.
Rather it’s leading to Wyoming or anywhere else.
He’s there in the unknown, quieting my fears.

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