Winter Parte Cuatro: Lessons from the Road
As i sojourned to view Autumn’s splendor i began to feel. Feeling made me aware that i hadn’t been feeling for some time; i was dead and then suddenly i was alive. i wanted to hang on to feeling the feeling forever. My heart, my mind, my spirit begged that i could keep the feeling, but honestly it was gone before i arrived back home. Seven hours on the road, beauty around me, and i couldn’t even hang on for that seven hours. But i decided i will continue to breathe each day, i will seek feeling even when i can’t find it, i will seek it anyway, and i will choose to live in light, truth and joy. i will breathe in and out and will daily say, “i was dead but now i am alive”. And i won’t quit living fully alive in each experience, i won’t give up on living a life where i feel the apex of joy and the deepest depth of despair. i will chase meaning and faith in my current circumstances instead of longing for different while choosing to not live, but to be dead in winter like an autumn leaf that has floated to the ground below. i will live…i will give…i will be poured out day in and day out. i will breathe, not the shallow breaths i’ve let take over, but i will breathe and live from my gut. i will encourage and i will have courage. i will not let my season dictate my movement, but will make movement—i will live my passion and i will not quit it or give it up. i will love deeply hands palms up and i will find joy in what i have—give away what is not necessity. i will breathe the cold air of winter deep in my lungs and i will choose to live fully because i was dead of feeling, but i was reminded i am alive. Spring is rising in me and the leaves are getting green on the tree of truth inside of me, and the flowers of feeling are beginning to bloom because winter’s air is making it possible. It’s been a long winter, it has stayed and stayed, but it is reminding me that i am alive again. i feel the season of spring coming forth with purpose and truth and my hope wells up for light and spring and life reborn.